early year blossom

Please tell me that this is not happening again.

Crushed on someone who could never be mine!

Now I’m questioning the question on him that used to be the question that I asked to myself:

Why I am gay? Why he is gay?

I’m pretty sure that no one would notice that he’s gay, until he opens his gayness to the person. He is a so-called beautiful-hunk with charming look and attitude who may be noticed as a gentleman.

It feels funny whenever I think about what would be on the mind of those flight attendants who are girls, when he enters the classroom and smile at them. I’m sure they are all going to feel the same way as I had last night. The butterfly in the stomach; the vibration that lingers inside the heart which melting into some kind of attracted feeling that was try to not be shown and now has converted into some kind of denial.

No, I wouldn’t like him. I would never think that I and he could be committed in a relationship. NEVER! NEVER! I said NEVER!

….. Everyone knows that when I say NEVER it means I am!

I just wish that he wouldn’t delete my pictures from his portable picture viewer. I just wish that even though he didn’t reply my messages, he would always think of me.

ARRRRRGGHH!! I hate this drama queen act! Please bite me!! Hit me back to reality!

And I feel like the obsession has grown even stronger, generating the psychopath inside me. I want him! Really want him. I need to make him mine. Be mine! Please be mine!

You should be mine ! ! ! ! !

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

I will be
In the bar
With my head
On the bar
I am now
A central part
Of your mind's landscape
Whether you care
Or do not
Yeah, I've made up your mind

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

Beware !
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can't pay
Take the easy way
And give in
Yeah, and let me in
Oh, let me in
Oh let me ...
Oh, let me in

IT'S WAR
IT'S WAR
IT'S WAR
IT'S WAR
IT'S WAR
WAR
WAR
WAR
WAR
Oh, let me in
Ah, the closer I get
Ah, you're asking for it
Ah, the closer I get

- The More You Ignore Me The Closer I get, Morrissey -