autistic syndrome to say I love you...

I was just visiting my friends’ profile on Facebook in a few minutes ago, and there they are with their happy faces appears on the photo album. And I began to wonder what was on their mind at that moment, at the moment they were smiling. Will their smile last forever? Was it real? Was it has been made up to cover the emptiness inside them? And the final question is;

ARE THEY HAPPY WITH THEIR LIFE AND FOR BEING WHO THEY ARE?

And when it’s my turn to answer such question, I’ll say:

YES, OF COURSE, WHY SHOULDN’T I?

Yeah, why shouldn’t we be happy with our own life? Even though perhaps the reality bites us even more hurt than we could ever imagine. When there’s not enough money to pay the bills, when there’s no love to share, when we have to deal with heartbreaks, when we can’t get what we have longing for.

How? How? How? And HOW?

-- BOGHNYAH’s answer would be; Be AUTISTIC!!!

AUTISTIC: Characteristic of or affected with autism

AUTISM: (psychiatry) an abnormal absorption with the self; marked by communication disorders and short attention span

Or for details please don’t hesitate to contact our expert; NYONYAH BENCONG! --

By being autistic we could develop better defense and prevent heartbreaks, it is like we create our own world, our own space, our own universe. It’s how we don’t care about other’s thoughts. It’s how we make our dreams come true! *well, of course not in a real life!

And please pay attention and realize the implications of this behavior. Just don’t get it too much. Or else you’ll be trapped in an anti-reality situation. And when this happens, please ask your friend to hit you back into reality, and let them bite you!

Well, back to the question and my answer;

I’M HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND FOR BEING WHO I AM! NOW AND EVER!

Why? Why? Why? And WHY?

Because I have learnt how to be a better autistic =p and I always try to keep this love alive. But, the main reason why I’m still survive in this so called twisted life is I have so many people to love and they who love me. And even they don’t care, they would still let me to keep this feeling.

And I just wanna say thanks to someone; he’s the one whom letting me to keep this desire inside of me, he’s the one whom really know how to make me feel safe and sound, he’s the one whom I will care for, he’s the one whom has give me a chance to feel happy even it was only for one night.

-- A simple kiss on the cheek that flew me to heaven and had made me stupidly surrender.. -- haha..

And thanks for asking me to stop calling myself silly. Because it makes me realize that is neither stupid nor silly to be crushed on you. And it also makes me realize that I’m really jealous with your boyfriend, the one who has your heart.

And last thing is, I wanna say sorry for losing control on this feeling I have and for still expecting for you to care for me just the way I care for you. I just can’t help it; I’m into you so much!

Thanks and Sorry.

-- In my autistic world; I can feel you --

Only tell me that you still want me here
When you wander off out there
To those hills of dust and hard winds that blow
In that dry white ocean alone

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

To stand with you in a ring of fire
I'll forget the days gone by
I'll protect your body and guard your soul
From mirages in your sight

Lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up, and be your way out
And if we burn away, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

Just a wish and I will cover your shoulders
With veils of silk and gold
When the shadows come and darken your heart
Leaving you with regrets so cold

Lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up, and be your way out
And if we burn away, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

- Snow on Sahara, Anggun -